Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
