i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
