hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
