I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
