Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
