1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My vagina is officially offended.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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