I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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