Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
