I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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