I'm sorry my penis didn't work
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
