9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
