just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
