Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
