I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
