my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
