I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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