that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Say something about gay babies.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
