the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
