wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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