ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
