Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
