....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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