I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
