She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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