it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
