remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
