And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
