Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
