To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
