these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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