i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
