Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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