PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
