On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
