How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
