It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
