Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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