I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
