C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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