if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
