No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
