ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
