Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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