I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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