i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
