whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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