I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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