Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
