she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
