no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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