just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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