I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
